There Are No Detours.
I was leading a group a couple years back at a residential treatment center. It was a mindfulness group and we typically started with a real quick check in just to see what was up for people so we can speak more directly to how to work with reducing suffering,...
The 40% Rule
I didn't want to go run the other evening. It had been a long day, and I'd met with clients for 8 hours. In addition to making some calls to parents during my commute. I got home felt like I wanted to just reward myself by just relaxing. This is how the conversation...
Why Stress is Good News!!
Only under stress can we function optimally. Let me clarify, only under the right kinds of stress can we function optimally. In this day in age of business, technology and information overload, and multiple bottom lines we are experiencing more stress than ever. Every...
How Developing a Needs and Feelings Literacy Will Change Your Life!
So, a couple weeks ago the wife of a male client I'm working with, whom I'm also meeting weekly as we work through the process of healing the family unit, asked me how I know so much about helping them communicate better. A few things had fortunately fallen into place...
The Problem with Therapy
“The problem with therapy is that it makes you feel better but it doesn't change anything.” Let me just start by saying that I worked with a wonderful and life changing therapist about a decade ago that changed the course of my life forever. Her ability to attune,...
Mindfulness is NOT a Self-Improvement Project
“Mindfulness is NOT a Self-Improvement Project” This is the first thing I write on the whiteboard when I start leading a new in-house mindfulness group or when I’m starting to work with some of our community partners and treatment centers. I want the participants to...
No Such Thing as a True Story
No Such Thing as a True Story I recently attended the Young Adult Transition Association (YATA) conference in Boulder, Colorado. (It was excellent, btw!) I love returning to Boulder. It’s my home away from home where I lived and worked for nearly a decade and where I...
How to Be A Helicopter Parent
Ok. I got called out when I posted some pictures of my daughter learning to ride a bicycle. My sister commented, “Nice photo bombs, helicopter dad!” Well, she’s only 6 I thought, and…., and…. Then she’ll be 12, then 18, then 26 and someday she’ll be 30, and I just...
Therapeutic process as a religious experience?
I want to share three things in this blog post. First is my favorite word in any language or tradition. Second is my own conversion experience, so to speak. And third is my hope for clients and clinicians alike. Darshan The word darshan is a Sanskrit term that means...
The Cobbler’s Daughter Has No Shoes
This is the first in what I hope is going to be a long series of Monday morning messages exploring with you all why we do the work that we do. I was speaking with a colleague about a month or so back about some personal things that I've been moving through and working...
It’s URGENT! This might be the most important thing you’ll ever read.
URGENT!! I'm convinced that our main problem, the biggest trouble that all of us are facing, is that we think we have time, and we do not. In my life it is becoming increasingly evident that my ability (or inability) to truly show up every day in my life, to act as if...
N.A.A.P. TIME FOR ADULTS – UNDERSTANDING THE UTILITY OF MINDFULNESS PRACTICE.
When I teach mindfulness in treatment facilities, at the cancer center or 1:1 with coaching clients if find that there is some confusion around what mindfulness practice is and what it is not. I've come up with the simple acronym "N.A.A.P." to help me ground the...
THE UTILITY OF REGRET
There is a common adage that many are encouraged to live by – “Live a life without regrets”. Not only is that not possible, it is often not very helpful. A more helpful approach to regret is to use regrets as a catalyst to make sure you are living this moment and this...
LIFE BALANCE – THE WHAT AND THE HOW
A FEW WAYS TO CREATE MORE BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE We all hear about life balance and it means something quite different to each of us. Whether we are young professionals, young adults or empty-nesters we are all looking to feel good in a way that allows the parts of our...
THE KEYS TO SUCCESS: RESILIENCE, OPTIMISM, MEANING AND PURPOSE.
The Keys to Success: Resilience, Optimism, Meaning and Purpose The difference between those who “succeed” in life and those who do not very often lies in the level of optimism and resilience they have developed. The earlier people are able to do this the more likely...